


Circus Act

by orphan_account



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 08:44:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4600284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Calum's been struggling with the unwanted add-ons of their lifestyle. Luke's always done everything he can to make him feel better. This time is no different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Circus Act

Calum's never been a picky person. He never argued with the rest of the band over where they should eat out. He never threw a fit when Mali got the blue lollipop and he got the green one. He never sucked his teeth at someone else's movie choice (unless the movie sucked). And he's never really wanted things by certain conditions and only those conditions. That just wasn't him. He was, for the most part, pretty damn go-with-the-flow. At least, he liked to think so. 

But lately he's been thinking maybe not. Because he knows for a fact he'd set a few ground rules right about now. Like banning the rest of the world from taking a million and one pictures of him as he walked down the street. And he'd love to do away with the blinding camera lights every time he got out of a car. And he'd sure as hell rather live without every move he makes being analyzed for this reason and that reason.

He thinks what he'd like is the success without the fame, but that's just not how it goes. You can't get one without the other. That's what he's learned. They're a package deal.

When he lets himself think about it long enough he gets mad at himself. Because it starts to make him sound ungrateful for everything he's had happen to him.  _Aw look at me on a world tour, playing for millions of people, doing what I always wanted. Poor me.  Sad face_. At least, he thinks that's how the world would see it. Just another teen star complaining about the luxury life. But that's not even the half of it. Not even half of the half of it, and he doesn't know how to properly express that. So he sucks it up, smiles when he has to, flips the camera off when he doesn't, and stays to himself. It worked for a while, but now it's starting to feel like he's tail spinning and he's not sure what else he can do to make this feeling go away. 

They were all going to go out tonight. That was the plan when they woke up, at least. But by midday Michael had said he didn't feel up to it anymore. Sort of expected, but it still sucked. Calum really loves when he comes out with them. It's more fun when he's there. But now he's starting to see why Michael prefers the quiet, personal space of the hotel room than the overcrowded, extremely nosy space of the outside world.

So a few hours after Michael turned down the offer, Calum did the same. That was a little more shocking. Out of the four of them, he's sure he's known as the partyer. The one that acts the most like a true nineteen year old with little to no restrictions. But he likes that. He loves the feeling of being a freebird. He likes to go to different clubs and feel the different vibes of each city. But lately the vibe has gone dead and he's been feeling like a caged bird instead. It's hard to fly when you don't even have enough room to expand your wings. 

And just like that, their night out turned into their night in. 

With Ashton leaving their hotel hours ago and Michael across the hall up to his neck in video games, Luke had made himself comfortable on Calum's bed. The television was on and some movie about a woman trying to find a serial killer was playing. Calum thought it was pretty interesting, but Luke was only half-watching. Heavy dramas weren't usually his thing. He's always prefered something that can make him laugh or something he can learn from. His guilty pleasure was definitely the Discovery channel. He tells them all he watches it so he can have something cool to say to the crowd, but they all know he enjoys learning about the whales in the ocean and the forests in Africa. It was kind of cute, if Calum had to say so himself. 

Calum can feel Luke staring at him. It takes him about a minute of cutting his attention between staring at the side of Calum's face and pretending to watch the movie before he finally speaks, soft and careful: "Do you wanna... go get something to eat?"

He did, but he also didn't feel like having his picture taken as he ordered a slice of pepperoni pizza. Instead of properly answering, Calum shakes his head. 

"Why not?" Luke asks. He pushes his eyebrows together and he tilted his head at Calum like he was examining him. Before Calum could answer, Luke questions, "What's been up with you lately?"

Calum was sure they'd noticed him acting differently lately, but he's surprised it took any of them this long to say anything. And he's sort of surprised it's Luke. His money was on Ashton; but if Calum's honest, Ashton's mind has been elsewhere with other people these days. He's not jealous-- not really. But he misses his best friend. He and Ashton always had really good late night talks. The two of them figured out a lot about life together as they passed through cities they didn't know the names of on a tour bus they called home for a few months. 

The thought of lying crossed Calum's mind. It would be so easy to brush off Luke's concern, tell him it's nothing, and tell him to leave it alone because he's fine. And it would be pretty easy to act fine and do it until he's convinced himself he's fine too. But he couldn't. Something inside of him just wouldn't let him and he says back, "It's just... getting really fucking annoying," instead. 

Luke scrunches his eyebrows again, clearly a little lost. He pulls at the hem of his jeans as he asks, "What is?"

"The fact that we can't go anywhere without it being a headline, the pictures and the-- the following us around, and... _everything_." It just spills out of his mouth before he can even try to get a proper hold on what he's going to say. He turns his body toward Luke and holds his hands out like he doesn't know what to do with them. Luke watches them curl into fists and he makes a frustrated sound before dropping his fists into his lap with a thud. Calum stares down at his hands for a moment, then slides his eyes up Luke's body until they're looking at each other. He mumbles, "I just want one peaceful day." Then, a little louder and with a lot more anger: "Just _one_ fucking day!"

Luke's response is a shocked silence: mouth sort of hung open, eyes wide, eyebrows raised, breathing a little escalated. He always knew Calum hated the nagging they all got from paparazzi and things when they went out. And they all understood. For the most part they ignored the reporters, did what they could for the fans, and left. But it was still annoying. It was annoying to all of them. Luke definitely understood how he felt, but Luke made himself accept that getting dirt on them was the reporter's job just as doing all of these shows was theirs. It didn't help much, but it put logical reason on the situation. 

Calum flops back on the bed and covers his eyes with his hands as another frustrated noise escapes him. Luke follows a few seconds later. He slides his body next to Calum's, rests his head on his shoulder, and puts his arm around Calum's stomach. Calum's breathing comes quick for a little while, then it slows gradually until it's back to normal. For a long while Luke just watches him, not really sure what to do. He wishes he could just cuddle Calum's pain away. Or give some of it to himself so Calum didn't feel it as much. He hated seeing him like this. 

Luke presses his mouth to Calum's shirt and says, a little muffled, "We could run away." 

This is what people did. When times were hard, they wished for a better life. A simpler one where everything was just so and the sun was always shining and there was always reason to be happy. They wrote chapters on how things would be different tomorrow than it is today, and made wishes on falling stars and loose change as they threw them into lakes. But the problem is, this is Calum's better life. This is his dream. You can't dream while you're dreaming. 

Calum makes an uninterested, indifferent noise to the suggestion. "They'd find us."

"I'm really good at hide and seek. Jack and Ben could never find me when we played."

Now Calum laughs. Instantly he imagines five year old Luke hiding in the most obvious place in his house and both of his brothers pretending they can't see him as they shout his name and look under beds. That vision seems more plausible than Luke: master of being incognito. He's sure Luke was more than half serious with this rebuttal, but it still made him laugh. Luke could always make him laugh. 

"We could use fake names, leave at like three in the morning, catch a flight to some unknown place in like, Iceland, and just be in the peace and quiet." Calum stays silent and just listens to Luke's elaborate fantasy of them disappearing off the face of the earth (and the face of the headlines), and into some utopia-esque place in the center of Iceland. He tells Calum about all the time they'd have to rewatch all the Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings movies and promises Calum a kick-ass satalite so he can keep up with football. 

The room is filled with nothing but the forgotten movie playing on the television once Luke is quiet. Calum peels his hands from his face and looks over at Luke. He's staring back at him with big, concerned eyes. Blue as ever, like his worry added saturation to their natural color. And for a moment Calum just stares at him. Then, despite Luke's fool-proof getaway plan, he whispers, "I just want them to leave me alone." 

Luke deflates a little against Calum's shoulder. He lets out a breath as he presses his face closer to Calum's neck, like if he keeps getting closer there'll be no room left for Calum to be upset and it'll all go away. Luke wants to be able to tell Calum that it'll get easier, or that it'll stop eventually, or that they _will_ leave him alone. But he can't promise any of that, and saying it would just feel like a lie. 

Calum sighs. "I just want to be able to take a walk, or go out to dinner with you guys, or sit outside and look at the sky."

Luke hugs him tighter and moves in a little closer. Calum can feel Luke's breath on his neck. He puts an arm around Luke and holds on to his shirt for a moment. But then he's rubbing soothing circles on Luke's back like he's the one trying to give comfort. He guesses he's just so used to this being the other way around and him trying to give Luke peace of mind instead. 

He says, "But I can't-- we can't. It's like we can't do anything or go anywhere. Going outside doesn't even feel.." Calum's voice trails off and he closes his eyes. Luke sits up, sort of hovering over Calum's face. He stares down at him so strongly, Calum's sure he can feel it warming his face. 

"Doesn't feel like what?" Luke asks like he's afraid to hear the answer, his mouth barely opening around the words. He takes in a breath and then holds it just as Calum's opening his eyes. 

He's dropping his eyes away from Luke's like he's embarrassed when he says, "It doesn't even feel safe."

Luke feels his expression soften and his heart start to race a little. He swallows on the air in his throat but he can't say anything. Calum feels Luke's hand side up his stomach and onto his chest, right over his heart where he can feel his heart slamming in his chest too. Luke's hand curls on Calum's chest, pulling some of his shirt into the palm of his hand and sticks to the sweat there despite the running air conditioning. 

Luke's voice is soft and a little stuttered when he asks Calum, "Well...you feel safe here, right?" He tries to swallow but his mouth is too dry. His breath is sweeping across Calum's lower lip when he adds, "Here.. with me?"

"Of course." Calum answers him immediately. His tone is strained and a little breathless with the lack of sudden space between his face and Luke's. And for a long moment they just stare at each other, Luke's hand gripping his shirt and Calum's heart threatening to leave his chest. He whispers to Luke, "Probably the only place I still feel it."

Then Luke kisses him. His body does it before his brain can register the act. One second he's staring down at Calum, the next second he's pressing their lips together. The kiss only lasts for a few seconds before Luke's pulling himself off, wide-eyes and out of breath. Immediately he lets go of Calum's shirt and is in the middle of apologizing before Calum has the chance to get a grip on what's happening. 

"Shit, I'm sorry! I'm really sorry," Luke says as he pulls his hand up to his mouth. He's still leaning over Calum, but with frightened, frantic eyes now like he's imagining Calum gearing up to scream at him. He's already mentally yelling at himself though; telling himself that this was probably the dumbest thing he's ever done in his life and there was no way this was going to make anything less complicated. He thinks Calum's gonna kick him out or punch him in the face or--

Calum pulls at his hand so it's no longer over his mouth and kisses him again. Softer this time and with more determination. He twists Luke's hand in his until he's able to slide their fingers together. It only takes Luke a moment to relax into the kiss; opening his mouth a little to kiss Calum back properly and sliding his thumb over Calum's. He wants to tell Luke it's okay, that he didn't have to apologize, but he thinks the way he's guiding Luke so he can properly straddle him says everything he's trying to say. 

Luke's weight on top of him isn't an unfamiliar one. They've all been on top of each other for one reason or another more than a handful of times. But right now, it feels like Luke was more than on top of him; it felt like he was the only thing keeping him grounded-- his last source of gravity. Like he was one angry thought away from completely flying off the handle and Luke was pulling him back.

When Luke starts to push down on him, Calum thinks he forgets how to breathe. In fact, he's sure he can't remember. The only thing he can do is make quiet moans into Luke's mouth between kisses and hope he doesn't stop because it feels too damn good. He doesn't let himself think about what a radical situation this is. And how this moment, this one right here, could screw things up for them forever. He doesn't let a thought like that cross his mind. Instead he thinks about what a good kisser Luke is-- always a people pleaser and happy to fall into the pace Calum set. And he thinks about how good Luke's ass feels against his cock. And he thinks about how he doesn't want to spend another moment ever again not kissing Luke now that he's discovered how amazing it is. 

"Oh, god," Calum moans out slowly when Luke starts circling his hips instead of just rocking back and forth. He takes both hands and fixes them on Luke's hips. He feels the sharp curve of them against his finger as he helps Luke move on top of him. And when he starts to buck up into Luke when he pushes back, it causes a stuttered breath out of Luke that Calum would do anything to hear again. 

Luke's pushing at Calum's shirt and making whining noises like an impatient toddler until it's up under his armpits. He only breaks the kiss long enough to pull Calum's shirt over his head and toss toward the top of the bed. Then his mouth is back on top of Calum's-- smiling into the kiss now because he's more comfortable and that makes Calum smile too. Luke bites at his lower lip and strokes the side of his face with his thumb. 

Calum flattens his hands against Luke's stomach and feels his muscles working to move his hips against him the way he is. The feel of it is a lot hotter than Calum thought it would be. How he could literally feel Luke's body working to make him feel like he does right now: breathless and excited and hornier than he's been in a while. Something about that turned him on more and he pushed up harder into Luke, causing another beautiful sound to escape him. 

Calum misses Luke's lips the moment they're gone from his mouth and working their way down his neck instead. Luke's tongue hot against Calum's pulse, licking over soft skin. Luke feathers a string of kisses up Calum's neck until he's at the space where his ear connects to the side of his face. And Luke's voice is husky and spent when he breathes into Calum's ear, "You want this, right?"

Fuck yes he wants this. Right now he wants it more than anything. And if he allows himself to recount anything that wasn't this very moment, Calum thinks he's actually wanted this for a long time. Because now that he's got it, it feels like there's a weight off his shoulders he didn't know he was carrying. Calum's fingers slide through Luke's hair as he tilts his head and kisses him again. Calum nods as they kiss, mumbling, "Yes, yes," in the millisecond of time they have when they pull apart for air. 

Then Luke's down by his belt and undoing it. He rubs his palm over Calum's dick through the tight restriction of his jeans before he unbuttons them, tugs down the zipper, and slides them down his thighs. Calum kicks his legs until the jeans are off completely and in a ball somewhere nearby. Quickly, Calum breathes as he watches Luke kiss up the length of his cock through his boxers. He flattens his tongue against the tip of it and licks at it for a few seconds until Calum's literally squirming at him, a few seconds away from him begging to just get started properly. 

Calum knows he's not going to last long the second Luke's got his boxers off of him and his cock in his mouth. Luke's lips are soft and his mouth is warm and his tongue is doing everything Calum needs him to do to leaving him a panting, moaning mess below him. Luke bobs his head a few times, then pulls off to lick over Calum's dick a few times-- teasing. Then he gets back to it when Calum's breaths start to become desperate, he thinks he can feel Luke smiling as he blows him-- excited by the noises Calum's making.

Blindly, he reaches for Luke's head and then he finds it. Luke's hair is soft and fuffy in his hands as he pulls on it. Calum's always liked it a little rough, sort of by nature, and is about to loosen his grip when he hears Luke hum around his dick in pleasure when Calum pulls his hair. Just knowing Luke likes him pulling his hair is enough to send another wave of pleasure and hornieness through his body.

So Calum does it again, this time to guide him lower on his dick and take more of it. He doesn't know if Luke's done this before, or maybe he's just naturally gifted, but he's ready to have a plaque made for him for Best Blowjob Ever. Luke's got a technique down instantly. Maybe he just watches a lot of porn. But Calum doesn't think porn teaches you to slide your tongue the way Luke is, and he doesn't think it teaches you how to moan in just the right way while you're doing it so that it sends vibrations down his cock too. A winning combination that has him thinking he's about a minute away from finishing. 

"I'm so close," Calum moans out and then allows his head to drop back on the bed as his eyes slam shut. He breathes in and out heavy through his mouth when Luke picks up the pace. Calum thinks he's sweating and shaking at the same time-- just a feeling of pleasurable electricity shooting through his body. He moans Luke's name and pulls at his hair again when he starts to come. But the second he gets his state of mind back he loosens his grip on Luke's hair so he can pull back if he wants to. Calum's sure his hand and his whole body are trembling at this point. 

Luke keeps blowing him, only slowing down a little when Calum's orgasm was in full force. Then, when Calum began to come down from his high, Luke slides his tongue up the underside of his cock all the way to the tip. Slowly, he pulls off of Calum and looks up at him through blond eyelashes until Calum stares back. Calum sort of looks dazed as he reaches for Luke to come closer and whispers, "C'mere."

Calum can taste himself on Luke's lips when they kiss again, and they keep kissing until he has to pull away to take in a proper breath. Once he's got his breathing back under control he says into Luke’s mouth, the words knocking against his teeth, “Your turn.”

"You don't have to," Luke tells him, turning the kiss into slow, tender pecks of their lips so he can talk. But every few words he'd lean down and kiss Calum again, like he couldn't help it. It's reassuring to Calum that Luke seems just as addicted to him as he was right now.

Luke smiles when he kisses him again. Calum's cupping the side of his face, fingers running over freshly shaved skin, when he whispers, "Lay on your back." 

There's a happy sigh and a bit of a laugh out of Luke as he rolls himself off of Calum and onto the bed next to him. Calum's tugging at his shirt before he takes his place over Luke; and Luke's reaching for Calum, mumbling, "Kiss me," before he even settles on top of him.  Calum always knew that, though. Luke's a kisser. He's always talked about how much he loves it. So it was no surprise to Calum that's he's damn near begging for it when there's a minute that goes by without it. 

Calum's hands are shaking with adrenaline and excitement as he unlatches Luke's belt and gets his jeans off of him. Luke's already lifting his hips into Calum, trying to get as much friction as he can-- just needing more right now. It makes Calum laugh, how eager he is and how much he's not afraid to show it. Luke's always been pretty open about what he's feeling.

Once Luke's pants are off he wraps his legs around Calum's midsection, just trying to get him closer. He can feel Calum's dick against his ass and it's turning him on more and he just wants Calum to do something, to touch him somewhere-- _anywhere_. Then, like an answer to a prayer, Calum's hand is wrapped around his cock. His hand is warm and slick with the sweat on his palm and Luke's precome, and it feels so good Luke has to close his eyes. Luke lets out a sound, a moan and a whimper and something else altogether when Calum picks up the pace. 

Luke's stomach muscles feel tight and there's a burning in his abs with the way he's got them clenched. His breathing is mad; rugged and uneven and probably too quick for him to be able to keep it up for too long. But Calum's hand is stroking him with just enough pressure to make it feel amazing but not too amazing, and just fast enough to bring him to the edge, but not push him over.

Then Luke's making full out whining noises as he kisses at Calum's mouth with no order or technique to it at all. He just needed something to do with his mouth to keep from being louder than he should. He knows hotel walls are not thick and there's a chance anyone walking by could hear them. 

Calum's hand goes quicker just as he pulls away from Luke's mouth to kiss at his neck. His teeth graze over his skin and threaten to bite down and leave a mark. Luke knows Calum probably shouldn't, and that it'd be a huge deal on Twitter and wherever else if they see the mark on his neck but right now he doesn't care. He turns his head to the side, completely exposing his neck for Calum and thinks whatever happens, happens. He thinks the pinch of Calum's teeth pressing into his skin would be so fucking hot, it may just be what he needs to get the finish line he's been chasing for who knows how long. 

Then Luke's hand is on the back of Calum's neck, urging him to bite down harder. To mark him up and leave him claimed. And suddenly, in that split second he doesn't care if the world knows Calum did this to him. He wants them to know so then maybe they won't have to hide and there'd be nothing stopping them from doing this again. It's not a secret if everyone knows. 

Calum does bite at Luke's neck a little harder; neither of them are sure if it's hard enough to leave a mark, but neither care. Calum kisses and bites and sucks at Luke's neck, mumbling, "C'mon Lukey, come for me, I wanna see it, I-- _fuck_ , I wanna..." Then Calum's kissing and biting and sucking at the skin on his neck again and Luke thinks he may hyperventilate before he gets to come. All of this is so amazingly overwhelming: the way Calum keeps jerking him faster, faster, _faster_ , the feel of Calum's lips and teeth against his skin, the sound of Calum's voice, like it's been scraped from the back of his throat-- Luke thinks he's gonna explode. 

When Calum starts twisting his wrist and rubbing over the head of Luke's dick, Calum feels the way he starts to shake. He lets out a whimper, pulls at the back of Calum's hair and can only moan out, "Ca--" before he's coming over Calum's hand and both of their stomachs. He sucks in air like he'll never be able to again and Calum keeps jerking him off until Luke's hand is around his wrist stopping him when he can't take it anymore. And not even a second later Luke's kissing at his cheek and the side of his face and everywhere else he can get his lips onto. 

"How was that?" Calum asks, smiling down at him when Luke lets out another shaking breath. It takes him half a minute to be able to open his eyes again, and when he does, he's looking up at Calum through half-lidded eyes. He smiles, then closes his eyes again. Calum takes that as a good sign. 

"Amazing," Luke whispers. 

Calum collapses on the bed next to him but never lets Luke go. He keeps an arm around the upper half of his stomach and feels the way it rises and falls with each breath Luke takes in. For a little while, Calum just stares at Luke--the main light of the hotel still on and giving him an all access look of Luke Hemmings post-orgasm. And it's a great look, if Calum's going to tell the whole truth. The way his face keeps a hint of red on his cheekbones and down the bridge of his nose, and how all of his features soften like he's about to fall asleep, and how his voice drops down a few octaves and becomes more scratchy. He's as cuddly as ever, clinging his body to Calum's and burying his face in Calum's neck. 

Calum reaches back and feels for the tissue box he knows he saw on the nightstand earlier. "Lemme just get..." Calum whispers as he pulls away from Luke to reach the box and is instantly pulled back down by Luke. On the second try, Calum's able to retrieve a handful of tissues and sweep it over his and Luke's midsections until the sickly feeling was gone and they were able to lay next to each other peacefully. 

"That's s'gross," Luke mumbles, half giggling onto Calum's neck. 

Rolling his eyes, Calum says, "Well it's yours, so." 

Luke laughs, "It's so gross," he says again. He sounds more tired this time. Calum pets the back of his hair, tangling his fingers through the shorter, sweeping strands. With the other hand he tosses the crumpled up tissues in the direction of where the garbage can was. He's not sure if he made it, and he'd be damned if he got up to check before at least ten a.m. tomorrow morning. 

Again, Calum looks down at Luke. He looks comfortable against his chest. Calum can tell he's not asleep yet, but he's getting there. Luke curls his fingers into a loose fist and rests it on Calum's stomach. 

"Thank you," Calum says to him as he's shaking the blanket by his head over the both of them and covering them up. Luke opens his eyes a little and looks up at him. "I think I really needed that."

Luke tilts his head and kisses Calum's collarbone. He would've kissed his lips but it'd require too much effort.

As he's resettling, Luke says back to him softly, "I needed it too."

Luke tries to start some speech about how he just wants Calum to be happy but he's too tired to get it all out and Calum's too tired to listen. Calum's rubbing his back slowly, telling him, "Sleep. We'll talk in the morning, okay?"

They have a lot more to talk about in the morning too than just how to deal with getting some of their privacy back, and Calum knows they need to be more than thirty percent awake to do it properly. He turns his head toward Luke and stops when his lips rest against the space between where his forehead ends and his hairline begins. He kisses Luke's head.

Calum closes his eyes when he hears Luke let out a slow, even breath. He mumbles back, "M'kay," as Calum feels Luke's eyelashes sweep against his skin when his eyes close. 

They fall asleep just like that: when the lights on, in the center of the bed, curled up into each other, and a movie about a new beginning playing on the television. 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it *u*  
> feedback is always hella rad ♥  
> [follow me on [tumblr](http://unofficialrockstar.tumblr.com) if you wanna!]


End file.
